Operation ‘Not Afraid’!!!

Throughout my student and professional life, i have been named and renamed hundreds and thousands of times. If i was made dada, manu etc at home, each one followed that up by gawande, amit, amith (southernized), wasudeo (!!! thats my father’s name. Isn’t that ironic that it was called when i wanted it to be the least, while distributing the checked answer sheets), strato, gaws and recently to few more. I felt like a bot in quake3 arena getting named for each player. Yeah!! as if this wasn’t enuf i myself tagged myself with “the great”, “the warrior”, “gaws”, “gamer” and simply “the player” in gaming arena. But there was the one that kept following me and i dreaded the most. “Phattu” (meaning “the fearful”. Quite interesting isn’t it? I feared the name itself). Though i felt it wasn’t fare enough, I feared the things every normal one did. And if someone didn’t i always felt he should be called the fearfree (physo??? :P).

Anyways today it was just by chance that i thought why not untie this tag from myself. But the first step was to list down the things i feel i fear the most in recent time. Because the countless times i was afraid is the past now and past hardly counts. So here goes the list of my recent ‘fearmakers’:

1) Weekends: Yep. These dudes come with a promise to let me complete all my jobs i have been postponing to meet just to slide under my feet with a lighting speed keeping me awake every sunday night. And thats the night i go to sleep with mostly zilch completed. Few uncompleted jobs include random internet surfs, itemized jobs like meeting, following up with XYZ, completing uncompleted work over the weekdays, do some shopping, paying bills, calling someone and and… Uff the list really goes on. Few which always top the list and remain unbeaten include washing clothes and shaving. Its all because i keep fearing each one of them, i hardly take a bath on sunday. You see i hardly find any time. Facing the monday morning with every planned thing untouched shivers me up.
2) News reports boasting someone: It may seem its fully faltu to fear something so stupid. But boss you should watch news channels catching random roaming people and making them comment on blah blah attaining blah feat. And then follow the unending murmurs: “East or West blah blah is best”, “Blah blah is great”, “we love u blah blah”, “i feel in todays world …. hjhsdjsa…. sjdhsaj” (a sudden break from news reporter finally breaks his non-abating tempo). I fear heavily that one day it would be me who would end up on either side of the conversation: i mean either boasting someone or holding mic (Nah me getting boasted over a news channel seems hardly probable. Though the speed with which news channels are turning insane, the possibility cannot be negated. And believe me, that would be no less fearful)
3) Reality shows and SMS: I don’t know if the show producers really know that but sending an SMS here at our place does get charged. But lemme be clear. No horror serial/movie isn’t as horrifying as these shows. I really worry if i keep on watching the reality shows, time’s not far when i would unknowingly type “&*&* A” or “LEAD #” and send that to 56789. Lines are open from saturday 10…. Arggghhh You see the side-effect. It just sticks and stinks inside. And even unknowingly you start blabbering the rules. Now thats the fear.
4) Google Homepage: Seemingly harmless bot, this is the most dreadful thing among the lot. I myself feel am addicted to this dude now. After atleast every 1 hour of joblessness, I feel to face this faceless creature. I fear he would one day take over my mind one day and and spread his crawler bots to digg out the information hidden inside. The phrase (and widely used “About me” statement in social profiles) “My mind is an open book” would literally turn into “My mind is an open searchable entity. Just google it dude”. Its really scary.

I guess i should stop for now. Its the Sunday night, have just seen an episode of reality show, been targeted by the boasting news reports recently and just now ebbed myself my visiting google.com. So before I really get bogged down by fear, let me reveal the plan. Plan is i am going to not fear any of these things. Simple solutions is not watch television, no web surfing (surfing without googling??? Just can’t imagine) and yep no work postponement. I know that’s pretty ‘new year resolutions’ish type of statements, but a start need to be made. Once i regain my control over these things, i will move to few other fearmakers. Till then good night. Its me signing off for tonight. Will meet next Sunday same time .. Argghhhh need to sleep. Fearmakers on their way!!!

Update:As if the “Google” fear i talked about earlier wasn’t enough, there struck this video which intensified this fearmakers effect on my “blogged” mind. Thats quite creepy.

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